Fostering stories

Shortly after her approval to be a Hackney Foster Carer, Amanda shared her experience of the application process and what encouraged her to become a foster carer in the first place.

As a teenager Amanda knew she wanted to become a foster carer when she grew up. She saw herself being married, having a family of her own and still welcome children in care into her home providing the love and support they need.

Despite being single, when the time presented itself, she did not let this deter her from pursuing the latter part of that dream. “I’ve always had a really strong social conscience, and the older I got the more I really wanted to do it and to help kids. I was more concerned about being single than I was about being bi-sexual, but my friend advised me to start the process as I had the time on my hands.”

“I chose to foster for Hackney rather than an agency because, I’m in it to help a child, so personally knowing that someone is making a profit from it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Look at the Ofsted reports; you want to be with a provider that supports you, supports the children and that is something Hackney has over a lot of other councils in the area.”

A lot of people thinking about fostering, are often put off by the assessment process which can take up to six months. Amanda described the experience as ‘intense’ but said “I had a great assessor who very much worked at my pace. It was a real revelation for me, I was dealing with things I hadn’t really touched on since I was a teenager and as a 41 year old woman was able to look back and learn from. It also made me realise how resilient I was.” She also shared her  surprise that some of the experiences she had been through, rather than being a problem, highlighted how she might be able to emphasise with a child coming into care.

Before the assessment starts, candidates are required to complete the Skills to Foster training devised by Fostering Network. “Skills to Foster was really interesting; it can be quite emotional.  Some of the things we were hearing were quite new to me, it’s eye-opening yet I felt very comfortable asking questions”.

“It was very inspiring to meet the care leaver; she was a student who had just graduated. So when you see the product of what a good foster home can support with that’s a real motivational element.”

Hackney is a diverse borough and we need foster carers to reflect this. You need to have a spare bedroom in your property as a safeguarding measure and the patience and ability to implement boundaries in which a child can grow in order to achieve their best outcome.

“The key with any safe, secure environment for a child is love and support and it doesn’t matter what colour, what sexual preference, or what religion you are. We are living in times where, Hackney Council is looking very holistically at how these children are supported, so putting those barriers up wouldn’t make sense for the children in care.”

If you would like to know more about becoming a Hackney foster carer, see what is fostering? or contact us using the details below.

Check if you can foster

When the Council held a masquerade party earlier this year to celebrate the amazing work done by its foster carers, there were awards for those who had been in the job for five, 10, 15 and 20 years. And then there was Brenda Campbell.

“I’ve been fostering Hackney children for 24 years,” she says with a smile. Adding: “I suppose that is a long time, but it’s flown by.” It is a particularly long time, however, when you consider that she had a whole other career before setting out on that path.

“I was born and raised in Barbados,” says Brenda. But at the age of 19 she took the brave decision to move across the world to Yorkshire in pursuit of a career in nursing. She explains: “I had a cousin there, but when I arrived I wanted to go straight home again, it was so foreign and so cold!”

Instead, she gritted her teeth, applied to a hospital and became a nurse. Decades later, she was to show the same resolve in her first weeks as a foster carer. Brenda recalls: “It was 1991 and I was living in Haringey. A woman I knew asked me whether I would be interested in fostering. She worked for Hackney Council and had seen the way I used to play with all the kids on my estate. They called me ‘Aunty Brenda’.”

Interested by the idea, Brenda agreed. Six months later, the first child was placed in her care. She says: “The child had been badly abused and was so badly damaged. It was hard work, but it was a challenge. I dealt with it, with the support of my social worker.”

It certainly didn’t put her off. Some 24 years on, and aged 70, she is still fostering children from Hackney. “I have now fostered 15 children in all,” she reflects. Adding: “Some come just for respite. Others come for four weeks and end up staying for years. One little girl came to me at two-and-a-half and left at 19. She still comes home to visit me, and now she brings her own little girl. That makes me so very happy.”

Other children, now grown up, come back to visit her too. “I am cooking lunch for one of my boys this Sunday,” she chuckles. Adding: “He always finds time to visit when he’s in the area, and it’s usually timed about right for a Sunday lunch.”  In the two-and-a-half decades in which she has been fostering in the borough, the job has changed considerably.

Brenda reflects: “New standards have been brought in, new training introduced. But it’s for the good. You learn so much in this job. I’ve had a lot of good training and it makes you feel really valued.” These days, it is no longer young children who are placed with her but teenagers. Brenda continues: “They often come with their own issues and challenges, but I try to put myself in their shoes and remember who I was at their age and what I wanted from life then. I get a lot of support from social workers and my fellow foster carers.”

Still, caring for teenagers requires energy. “The kids keep me going as I get older. I have to keep going to the gym so that I can keep up with them!” she laughs.

Brenda has no intention of retiring from the job soon. “I’ll stop when I’m ready,” she says. Adding: “Right now, it is still rewarding. My favourite thing is being there for the children when they come home from school. “I love watching them do well at their studies. Even if they go back to their parents shortly after, it’s great being part of it as they grow up into good people.”

If you would like to know more about becoming a Hackney foster carer, see what is fostering? or contact us using the details below.

Check if you can foster

As a Hackney Fostering Ambassador and a foster carer for over 20 years, Hajra told us why she still does it and encourages others to take the step as well.

“It’s very rewarding; children no matter what colour, creed or sex, they need a stable environment, a lot of patience and some boundaries, routine and a safe place to call home, where they can be themselves.”

“It may seem daunting, but it’s not. Once you start it just gets easier and easier; the appointments and things it feels natural and normal.”

Having fostered for so long, she often gets asked how many children have been placed in her care “I reckon over 200, but I’m not 100% sure, because when I first started I use to do emergency placements as well, so a lot of few days, few weeks, few months. Now I just do short term.”

Hajra initially decided to become a foster carer as she believed her own experiences as a teen would help her to emphasis and understand children coming into care. 20 plus years later and she explains “as well as giving, I get a lot in return; I find that fostering has changed me as a person for the better. I get immense pride looking the children placed with me and I feel like they are my own.”

“I started fostering when my children were quite young so they don’t know any different. When foster children were placed with me, they were just seen as part of the family and now that they are grown, my children are a part of my support network.” However she also considers herself lucky to have had the support of her husband, who is very active role in their roles as foster carers.

When asked what her greatest achievement as a foster carer was, Hajra knew the answer straight away. “My greatest achievement is seeing how the children I looked after have moved on; having turned their lives around and become independent, thoughtful, stable, young people; young women and young men. I feel really proud by what they’ve achieved that and knowing I’ve had some hand in helping them do that and I tell them so as well.”

Like every foster carer, Hajra confirms that support is a very important part of fostering, the support you get from your friends and family as well as the agency you foster for. “Having a supervising social worker at the end of a phone call and having regular supervision so I know that if ever I need any help I can just pick up the phone or email, this is invaluable.  Also being a member of the Hackney’s Foster Carers Council is like an extended family and other foster carers know they can rely on us as well so they will ring us with any questions if they need a person to talk to and we are there to support them. We go on trips, holidays, coffee mornings, so when we meet up it just feels like an extended family.”

So why foster for Hackney? “I have lived in Hackney for the past 40 years and I feel a sense of loyalty to my borough and the children. Fostering for Hackney has meant that school runs have been in the borough, meetings take place here and I don’t have to travel far for training either. But more importantly I love Hackney; I love the people I’m in contact with: the social workers, other foster carers and the teams around us.

If you would like to know more about becoming a Hackney foster carer, see what is fostering? or contact us using the details below.

Check if you can foster

Nicola Hill, author of ‘The Pink Guide to Adoption’ and ‘Proud Parents’, along with her partner Laura became foster carers for London Borough of Hackney in 2010, having realised there was a national and local shortage.

We always wanted to have children in our lives and since 2010 our lives have been very child-focused; we have had two long term placements.

The journey has been hard at times; emotionally draining and challenging but making a difference to young people’s lives, helping them to achieve success at school, showing them different countries, activities and raising their aspirations, this is the reward. We have witnessed and supported their personal and academic achievements and built within them a confidence that enables them to try things that they may have never considered.

Fostering can be hard, so I would say to anyone thinking about it, consider the change it will have on your life and make sure you have a robust relationship (if you are doing it with a partner) and support network: join forums on Facebook etc. talk to friends and family but don’t bottle things up. You need to be resilient, assertive and willing to advocate for the children, so read as much as you can. Through it all, make sure you also take care of yourself.

If you would like to know more about becoming a Hackney foster carer, see what is fostering? or contact us using the details below.

Check if you can foster